Have you ever imagined?
You are a lonely girl. You always spend your time alone. Taking a risk to go to anywhere alone. Enjoying many things you like alone. Enjoying many pains alone, without no one knows it. Doing anything alone. You do those because you don’t want to burden people around you. You always think that you are strong enough to live your life alone. You love your lonely time. And you love your loneliness.
You meet someone you never imagined before. You didn’t know, that he already filled your loneliness. He always takes care of you. Drawing many smiles in your face. Making you laugh. Cheering you up when you feel sad, though you don’t tell him. He can feel what you feel about. He knows what you think about. And he knows what your heart wants to say.
Until you realized……….
He’s the one and only who ever takes care of you. He’s the one and only who ever doesn’t want you to get hurt. And you feel so protected if you are with him. And you always want to be by his side.
“You are a girl. Even if you can do anything alone, you should have someone to protect you.”
That’s what you got from anything he did to you. He never told you, but you feel it. At the same time, people around you think that you are strong enough to do anything alone, as you used to do.
And you start to love him……
…….more than anyone else in the world. You know that is full of fault. You know it will be vain. Because you will never ever have him completely, at all. You admit it, he already has a girl. He already has future wife. And she’s not you.
Even It really hurts you so much…..
You keep loving him. No matter what. People around you say you are stupid. They always tell you that he isn’t good enough for you. So, you should look for another one. But, you don’t care. You still think that he’s the best guy you ever met. You never expect more, you are just afraid of losing him. You are afraid if you can’t be by his side anymore.
What If he just teased you?
Even he said that he just lay to you, you keep believing what you believe. You don’t believe his words because his action doen’t show you that. He always tries to make you give up. Try to make you think that he’s not good enough for you. But, he failed. You keep believing his action, not his words.
At the end….
You decided to leave. Not because you don’t love him anymore. But, you don’t want to make someone getting hurt because your love. And it perfectly made a greatest emptiness. that you never expected before. The greatest emptiness that no one could ever fill, but him.
You came back to your lonely zone. Back to do anything alone. Because there will be no one who can teach you a lot of things anymore. There will be no one who can draws a million smiles by idiots ways on your face. There will be no one who listens what you feel deep inside. There will be no one who wears you raincoat and doesn’t want to get you wet because of rain. No one, anymore.
If you think you will get better by doing it. Loudly… Don’t worry. Everyone must felt losing something. You are not alone. Cry. But, you have to smile after it. Because life must go on, with or without him.
Let it go…
Let air blow it. Let time heal it. Bacause you know you are strong enough to let it go.